If Love Exists

Hu Yue School of Economics

I am Hu Yue, a junior student from China at the School of Economics. I would like to talk about international marriage.

My mother is Chinese, and my father is Japanese. When I asked my mother how she has managed and maintained her international marriage, she playfully answered, “If love exists!” There is an old Chinese saying that “I love whatever you love.” According to her, when she made the decision to marry my father, she was filled with fear because international marriage was (still is) considered to be a controversial subject. But at the same time, she said that she was very excited about her decision, and that her love for my father had steered her forward.

It’s beautiful - but I was skeptical about the idea that love can conquer all. Differences in cultures and customs are never easy to make up. No matter how good our language skills can be, or how well we get used to a new culture, as far as I know few international marriages or relationships are successful.

When I asked my friend from Argentina out for a ramen (Japanese noodle) lunch, he said, “I had better not. I do not want to slurp ramen and sweat in front of a woman.” In Japan it is not considered rude to make slurping noises when you eat noodles. But for some foreigners, that particular eating manner is embarrassingly unacceptable. Another difference I found in Japan is that the Japanese people are generally indifferent to politics. In China, we often talk about politics over a meal.

A successful international marriage will require a great deal of effort, energy and generosity – maybe, to understand and to be understood by your significant other properly, twice as much as a marriage between two people of the same nationality. But thinking about my parents, I came to believe that if love exists it will conquer all.

Would you like to start an international romance?